And the award for worst editing goes to ............

Another week passes and finally Scott gets back in touch. I honestly thought he'd rumbled me.



From Scott.

Sorry for not responding for a while now , I have been busy with work and I hope you do not mind. I am being issued another passport which will soon be given to me so after that I will be able to send you ... like I told you before I can only show you my passport which I have access to from here . Do you mind?


A couple of days later I received this very badly edited passport!!!

His passport.

It was pointed out to me that Scott's (fake) passport was in fact, out of date!! This had to be pointed out to Scott!



Dear Mr Derr.

 

It has come to our attention that your passport expired on March 2nd 2015 so is now out of date and therefore invalid.

 

Could you please send a copy of your current passport along with 2 other forms of identification so we can begin the process of transferring Miss O'Doors assets to yourself. We understand that whilst you are stationed overseas this may be difficult so we are prepared for one of the forms of identification to be a signed, dated letter from your company commander confirming your identity. The other item of evidence MUST show your home address.

 

Please send the required documents to us as soon as possible.

 

Yours sincerely

 

Sammuel Connit

 

Connit, Stashitt and Leggitt Solicitors.

 

 

 

There was no reply from Scott so the solicitors emailed him again.

 

 

Good morning Mr Derr.

 

I trust you have had a pleasant weekend. I am just checking that you received my emails about your out of date passport and other forms of identification required to proceed with transferring Miss O'Doors funds to your account. Could you please contact us without delay so we can proceed with this matter.

 

Yours sincerely

 

Sammuel Connit

 

Connit, Stachitt and Leggitt Solicitors

 

 

 

Several days later and still no reply. Maybe he's given up? One last attempt to get him to reply is sent.

Dear Mr Derr.

 

Our office has not received communication from you with regards to Miss O'Doors bequest. If we do not hear from you within the next 48 hours, I am afraid we have instruction to leave Miss O'Doors estate to a local animal welfare charity.

 

Please contact our office as a matter of urgency.

 

Yours sincerely,

 

Sammuel Connit

 

Connit, Stashitt and Leggitt Solicitors.

 

 

A copy of his passport.

Scott replied pretty quickly but as he is stationed overseas, the only form of identification he has is his passport.

 

From CSL Solicitors.

 

Dear Mr Derr

 

Many thanks for your speedy reply. Miss O'Doors spoke very highly of you and the fact that you served for the US Army. She made no  bones of the fact that she was deeply in love with you. Her burial is to take place on Friday 30th October and if you could attend that would be marvelous. I shall send further details upon your reply.

 

For us to start that process of transferring her estate to you we will need the following documents to be sent:

 

3 forms of personal identification, one of which MUST include a photograph. These can include:

 

Your current US Passport showing your name, date of birth and photograph

A current household utility bill

Your birth certificate

Documents relating to your service in the US Army

Your Selective Service System number

Any other form of personal identification bearing your name and address.

 

We will accept these as scanned forms sent as email attachments or they can be sent via post to:
Connit, Stashitt and Leggitt Solicitors

 

23, Dupe Street

West Cretinshire

DU NC3

England

 

Many thanks for your time on this matter.

 

Yours sincerely

 

Sammuel Connit

 

Connit, Stashitt and Leggitt Solicitors.

 

 

  
 From Scott

I can only provide my US passport , all others I cant get it coz am currently at the base, I hope that satisfies you , I attached my passport now you can check it and tell me what process are needed , I will definitely want to be at her burial as well , please let me. Know about this details as soon as possible...

Connit, Stashitt and Leggitt solicitors.

Time to introduce Connit, Stashitt and Leggit Solicitors. They have some very sad news for Scott. But every cloud has a silver lining.

From CSL Solicitors.

Dear Mr Scott Derr.

 

 

Please let me introduce myself. My name is Mr Sammuel Connit of Connit, Stashitt and Leggitt Solicitors. It is with a great deal of sadness that I am contacting you to inform you of the death of Miss Patty O'Doors. I believe the two of you were intimately acquainted.

 

As you know, Miss O'Doors was recently involved in an accident where she suffered severe injury to her hand. As a result of the aforementioned injury, she developed septicemia and became gravely ill, eventually falling into a coma and passing away on Saturday 24th October 2015. As her family solicitor, I was summoned to the hospital before she fell into a coma as she wished to change her will. She made various changes which included bequeathing the sum of £2.6 million UK pounds to yourself Mr Derr.

 

As you may know, Miss O'Doors had no remaining family members to leave her estate to with her parents, only brother and ex husband all being dead. She considered you to be her one true love and wished all her money to be transferred to you. She was a very wealthy lady having inherited the estates of both her parents as well as her brother and ex husband. She made it absolutely clear that should she not recover from her illness, that you Mr Derr, must be the sole recipient of her estate.

 

I appreciate that this must come as a massive shock to you and that you will need time for this sad news to sink in but I ask that you respond to this email within the next 48 hours so I can register your acknowledgement of intent to accept this bequest. Upon receiving this, I shall give you further instruction as how to proceed with the transferal of money to your personal account.

 

Please be reassured that Patty spoke very highly of you and expressed her deep love and devotion on many occasions.

 

Many thanks for making her last few months so very happy.

 

Yours sincerely

 

Mr Sammuel Connit

 

Connit, Stashitt and Leggitt Solicitors.


Scott replies pretty quickly, mistaking Patty for a man.

From Scott.

Thats really sad, I cant believe he could do that coz we never met. I will love to be present at his burial to give my last respect n lemme know what I need to do to make the transfer process possible...

I wait on your reply soon enough - Scott's getting cross!!

Patty emails Scott to let him know she's sent the money via Western Union. Hopefully that will make him happy


From Patty.


Hi Scott.
Just a quick email to say that I've sent the money you need today at my local post office. Can you let me know when you get it please?
I hope everything is OK with you my darling. I'm starting to feel better today in case you were wondering.
Chat soon
Patty xx xx xx xx xx



Patty then gets a really grumpy reply from Scott.

From Scott.

Why does it take you days before you reply? I wait on your reply soon enough please so that I can get the details to the admin and activate the call.

Miss you PATTY! !

She replies and tries to make him feel guilty!!

From Patty.
Good morning Scott.
I'm sorry for the delaying replying. Unfortunately I developed a really nasty infection in my hand which turned into blood poisoning. I've spent the last week in hospital on various drips and machines. I've been seriously ill which is why I didn't email you. It's hard to do anything when you're sedated.
Did you not get the money I sent you? Was there some kind of problem? Do I need to send it again?
You're last email wasn't very nice Scott. I felt like you were angry with me. You need to understand that I've been very ill. It's not my fault. A little bit of patience and sympathy wouldn't go amiss. If you loved me you'd try and understand what I'm going through.
I hope to hear from you soon.
Love from Patty xx xx xx xx xx xx


Scott replies but is still more concerned about the money than her health.

From Scott.

Am not angry about you Patty just worried we couldnt talk much and know whats going on with you , am sorry you have been so ill hope you get better soon ok , we will talk on phone very soon  .

Can you send me the details on the western union receipt to me  ?
  The details include ; Money transfer control number (MTCN) .
                                              Question and Answer .
                                               Your full name .

Patty's back.

So, Patty had an awful accident. Scott doesn't seem overly bothered about her health, more so about the money for the phone call.   From Scott. I was so worried about you , sent you emails but no reply . Really glad you are here now and I cant wait to talk to on phone! Hope you are feeling better now ... Send it through western union to this details ; RECEIVERS NAME - SCOTT DERR RECEIVERS COUNTRY - NIGERIA    After you send then I can get to the admin and get the call activated , it doesn't take more than 24hrs for the call to get activated. I wait on your reply so we can get it started .   LOVE YOU PATTY!! Patty doesn't reply for ages so Scott emails again. From Scott Patty are you ok? Haven't heard from you in a while now n I am really worried , mail me back as soon as you see this as I have sent you emails before and you never replied too, .. let me know what's going on with you n our plan.  Patty eventually replies. From Patty Hello Scott Sorry for being so quiet again. I developed am infection in my hand and needed a couple of days in hospital. It seems under control now so I'm back home again. I'll be going to the Post Office tomorrow to send you the fee for the phone call. I hope that's ok. How long does it take to set everything up? I can't wait to talk to you. I'm very excited. I hope everything is good with you and look forward to hearing from you soon. All my love Patty xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx Scott quickly replies. From Scott. hope you are good now, I really miss you and I am also excited about the call , it doesnt take more than 48hrs to get it activated , after you send through western union tomorrow then you can send me the details here so I will do the rest , miss you very much!! Talk to me soon!

Patty's terrible accident.

I've been busy and felt uninspired so hadn't emails Scott for a while. He sent a one liner wanting to know about the money. What a surprise. I left it a week or so before replying to tell him about my dreadful accident.


From Scott


Hi Patty  , did you got my last mail  . It seems you busy? Lemme know what you think about the call activation . I hope you are enjoying your day n MISS YOU! 


From Patty



Hi Scott


I do apologise for not replying sooner but I had a terrible accident last week.

I'd been to a nearby town on a new therapies training day. It had been brilliant and I was waiting for my train home, looking forward to seeing my animals. The previous train was still on my platform and as it was about to set off, a lady jumped off realising she was on the wrong train. As the doors shut, he scarf got caught and she was very distressed. I ran forward to help and somehow my hand also became trapped in the door along with her scarf. The train began to move and we both walked alongside it, me trying to free her scarf and my hand. As the train gathered speed, the ladies scarf pulled free but my hand remained trapped. People were screaming for the train to stop and trying to help me. I began to run alongside the train as it got faster and faster and I didn't see a large post a the side of the platform. I ran straight into it with so much forced that it threw me backwards, ripping my trapped fingers from my hand. I was knocked unconscious and woke later in hospital.

There was very little the surgeons could do but tidy up what was left of my hand. There were truly marvellous. I am now back home and have friends looking after me until I recover fully. I am devastated Scott. This means I can no longer work so it's a good job I am wealthy enough not to have to worry.

So, when can we set up this phone call? I really need to hear your voice more than ever now Scott. I miss you and need you so much. I need your support whilst I recover from this awful accident. So, how do I get the activation fee to you and how do we get the call up? I want to do it as soon as possible.

Pleas get back to me as quick as you can as I really need cheering up.

All my love

Patty xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Time for a few questions.

Scott wants £150 for the phone call activation fee so Patty suggests Skype instead. She also asks him a few questions to get to know him better.

From Patty

Good evening my darling Scott.
I understand what you're saying about videocalls. I'm really sorry I suggested that. I just thought it would be nice for us to see each other. We could always do just a voice call over Skype as that would mean not having to pay the £150 call activation fee. What do you think to that? We could do it any time Scott. It would be brilliant.
So my dear, please tell me what you've been up to today? I want to know because I feel that I don't know that much about you. Would you answer a few questions for me please?
What is your favourite band?
What's your favourite film?
Do you prefer tea or coffee?
Briefs or boxers?
Sweet or savoury?
Bath or shower?
What's your favourite cheese?
I hope you don't mind answering those to help me get two know you more.
Look forward to hearing from you soon.
All my love
Patty xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx 



No reply to that so Patty emails again.

From Patty.



Hey Scott!
How are you doing today? I've been hard at work today. I had a patient with a severe case of commonsensicle absentitis. He's been suffering with it for over 15 years! Can you believe that? He was too embarrassed to go to his doctor so a friend of his recommended coming to see me. He's been 3 times so far and his symptoms are probably 60% better now. It's times like this that I really love my job.
Anyway Scott, I hope you're having a great day and can't wait to hear from you again soon.
Lots of love
Patty xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx 


Eventually Scott replies.

From Scott.

 What is your favourite band? I don't have a particular band .
What's your favourite film? . RED
Do you prefer tea or coffee? Coffee
Briefs or boxers? Briefs
Sweet or savoury? Savory
Bath or shower? Shower
What's your favourite cheese? No favorite
Been busy at work as well just got time to talk I you . Anyway about the call there are no any form of video call either skype it something else that are allowed at the base due to security reasons . The £150 is the only way we can get to talk ok . Can you send that to me so I can get it to activate the call ? Comrades at the base are not allowed to hold cash with them during service I would have paid it myself a long time ago . I hope you understand and can get to pay it once without no further delay ...
Talk to you soon .
I LOVE YOU PATTY!

Only joking!

So, Scott never replied to my confession about maybe being a bit of a serial killer. I left it a few days and as he's usually so quick to reply, I thought I'd email him and tell him it was all a big joke!

From Patty.


Hey Scott!!


You never replied to my last email. I guess it probably scared you a bit eh? Well you can breathe a sight of relief as it was a joke!!! Oh I am so sorry Scott!! I am the most terrible prankster ever!! It's going to get me in serious trouble one day! Nothing happened at the conference I promise you, honestly!!

So my darling, what have you been up to this week? I've had quite a few patients and have been busy with the animals as usual.

So, chatting on the phone. I've been thinking about this and maybe we could Skype each other? I have Skype on my phone and I see you have an IPhone so you can get it too. You obviously have internet on your phone as I can see you send your emails from it so there's no real reason we can't chat on Skype. It would be lovely to see you in the flesh so to speak. SO, what do you think? It makes much more sense than just chatting on the phone because we'll be able to see each other too!! Please let me know what you think.

I miss you Scott, I really do. I feel such a connection between us and it's important that we make the most of this love we have.

Look forward to hearing from you soon.


All my love

Patty xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


He eventually replied saying he'd just been tired!

From Scott.

I thought as much but believe me I was scared at first before I realists u must be joking . I just had time to read your email today coz yesterday was hectic and I got tired easily ....
Video calls are not allowed at the base due to security reasons and it's a breach of the law against the US military rules n protocols , Patty I know what I am saying that's why in the beginning I had told you we need to call on phone that's the only way out of it . Will that be too hard for you to do?
I miss you too Patty!!! I can't stop thinking about you ....

A serial killer?

So, time for a bit of a confession. Will Scott still love Patty once he realises she is a serial killer?




From Scott


Hi Patty . Are you ok ? 



From Patty


Hey Scott
Sorry for being quiet. I've been at the conference all weekend. Something happened and I may need to get away for a bit. Is there any chance I could come to Nigeria for a while? Could you recommend a good hotel I could stay in please?
I'll explain all tomorrow when I've had a good sleep. I've really missed you.
All my love
Patty xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx 


From Scott


Have missed you too Patty glad you can write to me now. I can recommend lot of good hotel for you that is secured . Is there a chance you can get the call activation fee paid so we can talk more on phone and plan your trip to here . I would really love seeing you OMG it will be a dream come true!!

Are you ok baby . I will be waiting on your reply and have a good night sleep with sweet dreams about us
Love you with all my heart Patty

From Patty

Hey Scott!!


Oh what a weekend that turned out to be. I went to the conference that I told you about but got into a bit of trouble.

I decided to play one my pranks as I always do there. It's just a bit of fun and livens an otherwise dull gathering up a bit. I had made a fake bomb with an alarm clock, a shoe box and some bits of wire and planted it under one of the speakers seats. It was just a b it of a laugh and I was sure they'd realise it was a fake. Anyway, the conference was really boring so I decided to give my nails a bit of a manicure during one of the more tedious parts ( a lecture on actual versus imaginary therapies). I had just got out my very sharp scissors and very pointed metal nail file to give my hands the once over when someone spotted the fake bomb. People were ordered to evacuate the building immediately and a lot of pushing and shoving ensued. I don't know what happened next but someone shouted that they'd been stabbed. It was the woman who had been sat next to me who didn't like me and had posted bad reviews about my therapies online. She was bleeding everywhere and quickly collapsed. An ambulance was called but sadly she died at the scene.

People we trying to say it was me even though there were lots of people and a lot of pushing and shoving so it could have been anyone, honest Scott it could have. I'd already disposed of my scissors and nail file down the back of one of the seats so there was no proof it was me. Honestly Scott, it could have been anyone. But the police arrested me and started using phrases such as 'serial killer' and 'repeat offender' and got out all the case files on my brother, the woman who disappeared after the other conference and my late husband.  He died when a toaster I had left plugged in on a long extension lead accidentally fell into the bath and electrocuted him whilst he was trying to get out. It wasn't my fault I left it on the side of the bath was it? It was just a terrible accident as were all the other incidents. You believe me don't you Scott?

Anyway, where about are you stationed in Nigeria? I need to know as soon as possible so I can book a flight and get away from all this mess. Please reply as soon as you can Scott. This is very very important. I have to report back to the police station on Thursday to answer my bail so I don't have long to book a flight and get out of here.

I love you Scott and we'll be together really soon.

Yours always

Patty xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

£150 for a phone call and he wants me to pay.

Scott has something he wants to ask me, something he hasn't asked a lady for a long period but it will cost me £150 to activate a phone call. He can't pay as the military aren't allowed cash and are paid in assets! He also seems totally unconcerned that I blinded my now dead husband.



FromScott


Hi Patty! What r u doing today . Seems u been Busy u forgot to msg me . Miss u! 

 From Patty



Hey Scott.
I am so sorry for my drunken message last night. I bought some vodka yesterday and went a little over the top with it. I ended up drinking the whole bottle and have been terribly ill all day. I didn't wake up until 3pm and have been vomiting ever since. I feel absolutely dreadful. I don't think I will be drinking vodka again for a very long time.
So, you want to chat on the phone? What is the fee you mentioned for the call? You also said you have something to ask me. What is that?
Anyway Scott, I feel really rubbish so I'm off for a long soak in the bath. I'll message you again later.
All my love
Patty xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx 


From Scott


 I wish I was with you and we could get drunk on vodka all night lol . Vodka It's a strong alcohol that is my favorite . I miss u more everyday . Guess u couldn't go to work today ..
I would love to ask you a romantic question I haven't ask any lady for a long period and the most suitable place is on the phone lol . You know there are always military protocols at the base that's why there is an activation fee of £150 and after we can get to talk anytime on phone for a long period and it will feel more closer am sure ;)
Hope u had a nice shower , wish I could join you and have a shower as well lol : will you let me ... Talk to you soon!!


From Patty (name misspelled again!)

Good evening Scoot
I hope you've had a good evening. Have you been up to much? I've had a quiet evening and finally stopped vomiting.
I'm very excited about talking to you on the phone. As soon as you've paid the activation fee I'll send you my number. I can't wait to hear your lovely American accent. I bet it's very sexy.
I'd love to have a shower with you but I'm worried it would bring back bad memories of my late husband. He loved to shower every day which meant I always had a lot of cleaning to do in the bathroom. I'd decanted some bleach into an old shampoo bottle to make it easier to get into hard to reach areas and left it in the shower totally by accident.
I'd gone out and left David at home. He'd gone for his shower as usual and unfortunately grabbed the shampoo bottle with the bleach in. Sadly the bleach got into his eyes and caused lasting damage. By the time I got home and got him to the hospital, it was too late and there was nothing they could do. Poor David was blind.
As you can imagine, I felt so guilty.  But we stayed married and I looked after him like any good wife would. I'll tell you another time about how our marriage ended.
Anyway Scott, it's time I went to bed as it's late.
Goodnight my true love
Always yours
Patty xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx 


FromScott


 Been working as usual . Not really that hectic though . That was a sad story about your ex ,sorry abt it .
Anyway can u get the activation fee paid for us . Military men are not allowed to have cash on them when they are active on the base coz it always cause something else not needed on the camp, we r just paid in assets which will be available until we get back to US .
Love you Patty . Dream about me!!
Will be waiting on your reply ;) 

Patty is a badass drunkard.

I've been a bit busy and not had chance to update the blog for a few days so there's a fair bit to catch up on. Patty confesses more wrong doings and gets drunk on vodka. He still doesn't notice his name is misspelled yet again.

From Patty


Good afternoon Spott.
How is your day going? Good I hope. I'm very busy today preparing for a conference I have to go to on Saturday. It's the annual alternative practitioner's conference where we discuss new treatments, research etc. It can be a bit boring sometimes so I usually try and liven it up a bit. Last year I held a cigarette up to the smoke alarm in the ladies toilets setting off the fire alarm. The whole building was evacuated! Oh how I laughed! No one know it was me so that was good. Likewise, the year before, no one knew it was me that put sedatives in the main speakers drink causing him to pass out mid speech. He only needed 10 stitches in his forehead so it wasn't that bad really and we all still laugh about it now! You can barely see the scar.
So Scott, what have you been doing today? Is there much need for the army out in Nigeria? I don't really understand what's going on over there. Please look after yourself.
Right my darling, I had better get some more work done. Look forward to hearing from you soon.
Patty xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx 




From Scott.




Lol you are a badass,I smoke too as well .
The army are here to protect and detect the terrorist known as the Boko-Haram" they are a bomb squad terrorist . It can get really hard sometimes and I really look forward to the day I will be able to live here maybe go on vacation,anything,just something fun . I miss it . Anyway did you bought the vodka . Lemme know how it taste....
I dnt know if you will be really interested on talking on phone,it will really feel more closer and I will be able to ask something from you I have never ask for a long time if we can talk on phone . If it's possible though coz it takes an activation process fee to get it done so we can talk at anytime for a long period .
How are you spending your day? Miss you! Waiting to hear from you soon ;)




From a drunken Patty.


Hellos cotT
It bothGT some vodka. It is veryy nice. I drinked jt all. MOST of It but now I fell silk pick sick. My hed. Hurts
Good might  and I love you scout  xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx 


From Scott




Lol u shouldn't have taken too much it causes headache especially for a lady . I love you too! I know this is a good feeling n it can only get better from here . U make me happy! .. Why the misspellings ? Lol
Anyway it seems u r not in a bit interested in the call btw us ?
Tk care n have a good night . Sweet dreams Patty!




You will get better in the morning ok .

Love u Patty!!

At last, the mention of money.

Poor Scott seems to have lost a few of his vowels. Maybe if I send cash, he can buy some new ones.


From Scott 


Morning Patty, it's been a long time smone posted smthing to me specifically out here they have a rigorous way of post office they r not well organise due to the state of the country It takes days to clear smtimes it doesn't even get cleared, if not I would have love a card from u gosh would have been really romantic . The only thing I can get here easily is money though have been planning a little vodka party here in my mind am not sure yet .
How was your night patty n hope u r having a good day ....
...thinking abt you



From Patty


Hey Scotty!
How's your day been? Good I hope. I've been really busy and have only just got in from work. It's been a very long day.
What is a vodka party? I've never tried vodka. Maybe I'll buy some tomorrow and give it a try.
How come you can't get post sent but you can get money? How do the post office know that a letter contains money and not just a letter or card? I don't understand. I'd still love to send you a card.
Anyway, it's very late so I should sleep. I'll be dreaming of you my love.
Night night,
Love from Patty xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx 



From Scott.



 Morning baby . How was your night? I had a very long day yesterday Just got up now .

I just did name it a vodka party it means a party where we drink only vodka lol and I mean that if you want to send money you cnt post it there is another process for that through western union but the letter or card is through post office and it takes a lot of time to get here...
Hope u had a great night ? What r your plans for today

His birthday isn't far anymore.

So Scott is in the army and can take leave whenever he wants. That's convenient.It's also his birthday soon. Again, how convenient!


From Scott


You are a beautiful lady . I am the one thankful for my luck to have such a lady like u with me .
I do have much time off when am on leave . I can Tk leave whenever I want at the base.recently just on weekends I relax n drink .. How is your evening ?


 Another from Scott.


When is your birthday . Mine is on October 12 . Not far anymore


From Patty.


Good morning Scott

It's not long until your birthday is it? I shall send you a card if you let me know where I can post it to.  It might be nice for you to get some post on your special day.

Do you have any plans for today? I have a number of patients to see so will be busy most of the day but will email you later this evening when I am finished.

My birthday is 14th February, Valentines day. I haven't had a Valentines card in a long while. Maybe next year you will send me one! I hope I'm not being too forward Scott when I say this but I think I am developing feelings for you. I know we haven't been talking for very long but I feel a very strong connection between us. Do you feel it too?

Anyway my dear, I must get ready for my next patient. Mr Shepherd has a very bad case of hypothetical mardys and needs my attention. You have a good day Scott and look forward to hearing from you soon.

All my love

Patty xxxxxxxx

Time for some photos of Patty.

Scott has never seen any photos of Patty so I thought it was time to send some. Patty bears a remarkable resemblance to Ann Widdecombe don't you think? I do hope he still likes her. And doesn't her brother look a lot like Len Goodman?

From Patty.


Good afternoon Scott.

I have 20 minutes in between clients so I thought I'd say a quick hello. I realise that I never sent you any pictures of myself. Obviously you saw me on Mingle but it's nice to have some pictures to keep. Please find attached some of me and one of me and my late brother Ben.

Ben was my only sibling and he passed away 3 years ago. We were out for a day trip on his boat (the one in the picture) when he slipped on some olive oil that I had 'accidentally' spilled on deck and he plunged head first into the sea. Had he not had his jacket pockets full of heavy rocks that I'd put there for safe keeping I am sure he wouldn't have sunk so easily. I did my best to try and pull him out with the aid of a large, heavy, wooden pole but because of the choppy waves, unfortunately it kept hitting him around the head and he just couldn't seem to grab hold of it. I tried my absolute best to save him, honest I did but sadly he drowned. I can never forgive myself for what happened as I feel to blame even thought I know that I didn't kill him. Honestly I didn't. It was just a tragic accident.  Even the coroner said so. He left me everything in his will which did soften the blow somewhat and I often think of him when I am spending his money on myself.

Righty ho Scott, I must get ready for my next patient. I shall try and email you later. Hope you like the pictures!

All my love

Patty xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 


From Scott.

He doesn't mention the photos or even pick up on the fact that Patty actually killed her brother.

Am so sorry about your late brother and how your help wasn't enough to save him it's Tragic maybe his soul rest in peace . Am sure u did miss him . How is going for you today ?




Then a minute later came this email from Scott.

How is work going for you today?


Then this one. He thinks Patty is beautiful.

OMG you are so beautiful. U have a cute smile . I love all the pictures your brother is cute as well . How many years since your brother died now? And the one u had a red cloth on where were u then?




Patty replies. I wonder if he'll pick up on the disappearance of my rival at the awards ceremony?


Hey Scott.

I'm glad you liked my pictures. I'm quite insecure about my looks but I like to think it's what's on the inside that counts. The one where I am in red was at an awards ceremony for alternative therapists. I had been nominated for an award but sadly I didn't win. Never mind. It was good night.

My brother died 3 years ago. I miss him every day and still feel so guilty even though everyone said  it's not my fault. It wasn't my fault either that the woman who won the award I was nominated for disappeared a few weeks later. It had nothing to do with me at all. Honest.

So Scott, how come a handsome man like you is still single? I hope you don't mind me saying but you are incredibly handsome. I never thought a man like you would be interested in someone like me.  I can't believe my luck! Do you get much time off your army duties?

I hope you're having a good evening and hope to hear from you soon.

All my love

Patty xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx