So, time for a bit of a confession. Will Scott still love Patty once he realises she is a serial killer?
From Scott
Hi Patty . Are you ok ?
From Patty
Hey Scott
Sorry for being quiet. I've been at the conference all weekend.
Something happened and I may need to get away for a bit. Is there any
chance I could come to Nigeria for a while? Could you recommend a good
hotel I could stay in please?
I'll explain all tomorrow when I've had a good sleep. I've really missed you.
All my love
Patty xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx
From Scott
Have missed you too Patty glad you can write to me now. I can recommend
lot of good hotel for you that is secured . Is there a chance you can
get the call activation fee paid so we can talk more on phone and plan
your trip to here . I would really love seeing you OMG it will be a
dream come true!!
Are you ok baby . I will be waiting on your reply and have a good night sleep with sweet dreams about us
Love you with all my heart Patty
From Patty
Hey Scott!!
Oh what a weekend that turned out to be. I went to the conference that I told you about but got into a bit of trouble.
I
decided to play one my pranks as I always do there. It's just a bit of
fun and livens an otherwise dull gathering up a bit. I had made a fake
bomb with an alarm clock, a shoe box and some bits of wire and planted
it under one of the speakers seats. It was just a b it of a laugh and I
was sure they'd realise it was a fake. Anyway, the conference was really
boring so I decided to give my nails a bit of a manicure during one of
the more tedious parts ( a lecture on actual versus imaginary
therapies). I had just got out my very sharp scissors and very pointed
metal nail file to give my hands the once over when someone spotted the
fake bomb. People were ordered to evacuate the building immediately and a
lot of pushing and shoving ensued. I don't know what happened next but
someone shouted that they'd been stabbed. It was the woman who had been
sat next to me who didn't like me and had posted bad reviews about my
therapies online. She was bleeding everywhere and quickly collapsed. An
ambulance was called but sadly she died at the scene.
People we
trying to say it was me even though there were lots of people and a lot
of pushing and shoving so it could have been anyone, honest Scott it
could have. I'd already disposed of my scissors and nail file down the
back of one of the seats so there was no proof it was me. Honestly
Scott, it could have been anyone. But the police arrested me and started
using phrases such as 'serial killer' and 'repeat offender' and got out
all the case files on my brother, the woman who disappeared after the
other conference and my late husband. He died when a toaster I had left
plugged in on a long extension lead accidentally fell into the bath and
electrocuted him whilst he was trying to get out. It wasn't my fault I
left it on the side of the bath was it? It was just a terrible accident
as were all the other incidents. You believe me don't you Scott?
Anyway,
where about are you stationed in Nigeria? I need to know as soon as
possible so I can book a flight and get away from all this mess. Please
reply as soon as you can Scott. This is very very important. I have to
report back to the police station on Thursday to answer my bail so I
don't have long to book a flight and get out of here.
I love you Scott and we'll be together really soon.
Yours always
Patty xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Tuesday, 29 September 2015
£150 for a phone call and he wants me to pay.
Scott has something he wants to ask me, something he hasn't asked a lady for a long period but it will cost me £150 to activate a phone call. He can't pay as the military aren't allowed cash and are paid in assets! He also seems totally unconcerned that I blinded my now dead husband.
FromScott
Hi Patty! What r u doing today . Seems u been Busy u forgot to msg me . Miss u!
From Patty
Hey Scott.
I am so sorry for my drunken message last night. I bought some vodka yesterday and went a little over the top with it. I ended up drinking the whole bottle and have been terribly ill all day. I didn't wake up until 3pm and have been vomiting ever since. I feel absolutely dreadful. I don't think I will be drinking vodka again for a very long time.
So, you want to chat on the phone? What is the fee you mentioned for the call? You also said you have something to ask me. What is that?
Anyway Scott, I feel really rubbish so I'm off for a long soak in the bath. I'll message you again later.
All my love
Patty xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx
From Scott
I wish I was with you and we could get drunk on vodka all night lol . Vodka It's a strong alcohol that is my favorite . I miss u more everyday . Guess u couldn't go to work today ..
I would love to ask you a romantic question I haven't ask any lady for a long period and the most suitable place is on the phone lol . You know there are always military protocols at the base that's why there is an activation fee of £150 and after we can get to talk anytime on phone for a long period and it will feel more closer am sure ;)
Hope u had a nice shower , wish I could join you and have a shower as well lol : will you let me ... Talk to you soon!!
From Patty (name misspelled again!)
Good evening Scoot
I hope you've had a good evening. Have you been up to much? I've had a quiet evening and finally stopped vomiting.
I'm very excited about talking to you on the phone. As soon as you've paid the activation fee I'll send you my number. I can't wait to hear your lovely American accent. I bet it's very sexy.
I'd love to have a shower with you but I'm worried it would bring back bad memories of my late husband. He loved to shower every day which meant I always had a lot of cleaning to do in the bathroom. I'd decanted some bleach into an old shampoo bottle to make it easier to get into hard to reach areas and left it in the shower totally by accident.
I'd gone out and left David at home. He'd gone for his shower as usual and unfortunately grabbed the shampoo bottle with the bleach in. Sadly the bleach got into his eyes and caused lasting damage. By the time I got home and got him to the hospital, it was too late and there was nothing they could do. Poor David was blind.
As you can imagine, I felt so guilty. But we stayed married and I looked after him like any good wife would. I'll tell you another time about how our marriage ended.
Anyway Scott, it's time I went to bed as it's late.
Goodnight my true love
Always yours
Patty xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx
FromScott
Been working as usual . Not really that hectic though . That was a sad story about your ex ,sorry abt it .
Anyway can u get the activation fee paid for us . Military men are not allowed to have cash on them when they are active on the base coz it always cause something else not needed on the camp, we r just paid in assets which will be available until we get back to US .
Love you Patty . Dream about me!!
Will be waiting on your reply ;)
FromScott
Hi Patty! What r u doing today . Seems u been Busy u forgot to msg me . Miss u!
From Patty
Hey Scott.
I am so sorry for my drunken message last night. I bought some vodka yesterday and went a little over the top with it. I ended up drinking the whole bottle and have been terribly ill all day. I didn't wake up until 3pm and have been vomiting ever since. I feel absolutely dreadful. I don't think I will be drinking vodka again for a very long time.
So, you want to chat on the phone? What is the fee you mentioned for the call? You also said you have something to ask me. What is that?
Anyway Scott, I feel really rubbish so I'm off for a long soak in the bath. I'll message you again later.
All my love
Patty xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx
From Scott
I wish I was with you and we could get drunk on vodka all night lol . Vodka It's a strong alcohol that is my favorite . I miss u more everyday . Guess u couldn't go to work today ..
I would love to ask you a romantic question I haven't ask any lady for a long period and the most suitable place is on the phone lol . You know there are always military protocols at the base that's why there is an activation fee of £150 and after we can get to talk anytime on phone for a long period and it will feel more closer am sure ;)
Hope u had a nice shower , wish I could join you and have a shower as well lol : will you let me ... Talk to you soon!!
From Patty (name misspelled again!)
Good evening Scoot
I hope you've had a good evening. Have you been up to much? I've had a quiet evening and finally stopped vomiting.
I'm very excited about talking to you on the phone. As soon as you've paid the activation fee I'll send you my number. I can't wait to hear your lovely American accent. I bet it's very sexy.
I'd love to have a shower with you but I'm worried it would bring back bad memories of my late husband. He loved to shower every day which meant I always had a lot of cleaning to do in the bathroom. I'd decanted some bleach into an old shampoo bottle to make it easier to get into hard to reach areas and left it in the shower totally by accident.
I'd gone out and left David at home. He'd gone for his shower as usual and unfortunately grabbed the shampoo bottle with the bleach in. Sadly the bleach got into his eyes and caused lasting damage. By the time I got home and got him to the hospital, it was too late and there was nothing they could do. Poor David was blind.
As you can imagine, I felt so guilty. But we stayed married and I looked after him like any good wife would. I'll tell you another time about how our marriage ended.
Anyway Scott, it's time I went to bed as it's late.
Goodnight my true love
Always yours
Patty xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx
FromScott
Been working as usual . Not really that hectic though . That was a sad story about your ex ,sorry abt it .
Anyway can u get the activation fee paid for us . Military men are not allowed to have cash on them when they are active on the base coz it always cause something else not needed on the camp, we r just paid in assets which will be available until we get back to US .
Love you Patty . Dream about me!!
Will be waiting on your reply ;)
Patty is a badass drunkard.
I've been a bit busy and not had chance to update the blog for a few days so there's a fair bit to catch up on. Patty confesses more wrong doings and gets drunk on vodka. He still doesn't notice his name is misspelled yet again.
From Patty
Good afternoon Spott.
How is your day going? Good I hope. I'm very busy today preparing for a conference I have to go to on Saturday. It's the annual alternative practitioner's conference where we discuss new treatments, research etc. It can be a bit boring sometimes so I usually try and liven it up a bit. Last year I held a cigarette up to the smoke alarm in the ladies toilets setting off the fire alarm. The whole building was evacuated! Oh how I laughed! No one know it was me so that was good. Likewise, the year before, no one knew it was me that put sedatives in the main speakers drink causing him to pass out mid speech. He only needed 10 stitches in his forehead so it wasn't that bad really and we all still laugh about it now! You can barely see the scar.
So Scott, what have you been doing today? Is there much need for the army out in Nigeria? I don't really understand what's going on over there. Please look after yourself.
Right my darling, I had better get some more work done. Look forward to hearing from you soon.
Patty xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx
From Scott.
Lol you are a badass,I smoke too as well .
The army are here to protect and detect the terrorist known as the Boko-Haram" they are a bomb squad terrorist . It can get really hard sometimes and I really look forward to the day I will be able to live here maybe go on vacation,anything,just something fun . I miss it . Anyway did you bought the vodka . Lemme know how it taste....
I dnt know if you will be really interested on talking on phone,it will really feel more closer and I will be able to ask something from you I have never ask for a long time if we can talk on phone . If it's possible though coz it takes an activation process fee to get it done so we can talk at anytime for a long period .
How are you spending your day? Miss you! Waiting to hear from you soon ;)
From a drunken Patty.
Hellos cotT
It bothGT some vodka. It is veryy nice. I drinked jt all. MOST of It but now I fell silk pick sick. My hed. Hurts
Good might and I love you scout xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx
From Scott
Lol u shouldn't have taken too much it causes headache especially for a lady . I love you too! I know this is a good feeling n it can only get better from here . U make me happy! .. Why the misspellings ? Lol
Anyway it seems u r not in a bit interested in the call btw us ?
Tk care n have a good night . Sweet dreams Patty!
You will get better in the morning ok .
Love u Patty!!
From Patty
Good afternoon Spott.
How is your day going? Good I hope. I'm very busy today preparing for a conference I have to go to on Saturday. It's the annual alternative practitioner's conference where we discuss new treatments, research etc. It can be a bit boring sometimes so I usually try and liven it up a bit. Last year I held a cigarette up to the smoke alarm in the ladies toilets setting off the fire alarm. The whole building was evacuated! Oh how I laughed! No one know it was me so that was good. Likewise, the year before, no one knew it was me that put sedatives in the main speakers drink causing him to pass out mid speech. He only needed 10 stitches in his forehead so it wasn't that bad really and we all still laugh about it now! You can barely see the scar.
So Scott, what have you been doing today? Is there much need for the army out in Nigeria? I don't really understand what's going on over there. Please look after yourself.
Right my darling, I had better get some more work done. Look forward to hearing from you soon.
Patty xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx
From Scott.
Lol you are a badass,I smoke too as well .
The army are here to protect and detect the terrorist known as the Boko-Haram" they are a bomb squad terrorist . It can get really hard sometimes and I really look forward to the day I will be able to live here maybe go on vacation,anything,just something fun . I miss it . Anyway did you bought the vodka . Lemme know how it taste....
I dnt know if you will be really interested on talking on phone,it will really feel more closer and I will be able to ask something from you I have never ask for a long time if we can talk on phone . If it's possible though coz it takes an activation process fee to get it done so we can talk at anytime for a long period .
How are you spending your day? Miss you! Waiting to hear from you soon ;)
From a drunken Patty.
Hellos cotT
It bothGT some vodka. It is veryy nice. I drinked jt all. MOST of It but now I fell silk pick sick. My hed. Hurts
Good might and I love you scout xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx
From Scott
Lol u shouldn't have taken too much it causes headache especially for a lady . I love you too! I know this is a good feeling n it can only get better from here . U make me happy! .. Why the misspellings ? Lol
Anyway it seems u r not in a bit interested in the call btw us ?
Tk care n have a good night . Sweet dreams Patty!
You will get better in the morning ok .
Love u Patty!!
Wednesday, 23 September 2015
At last, the mention of money.
Poor Scott seems to have lost a few of his vowels. Maybe if I send cash, he can buy some new ones.
From Scott
Morning Patty, it's been a long time smone posted smthing to me specifically out here they have a rigorous way of post office they r not well organise due to the state of the country It takes days to clear smtimes it doesn't even get cleared, if not I would have love a card from u gosh would have been really romantic . The only thing I can get here easily is money though have been planning a little vodka party here in my mind am not sure yet .
How was your night patty n hope u r having a good day ....
...thinking abt you
From Patty
Hey Scotty!
How's your day been? Good I hope. I've been really busy and have only just got in from work. It's been a very long day.
What is a vodka party? I've never tried vodka. Maybe I'll buy some tomorrow and give it a try.
How come you can't get post sent but you can get money? How do the post office know that a letter contains money and not just a letter or card? I don't understand. I'd still love to send you a card.
Anyway, it's very late so I should sleep. I'll be dreaming of you my love.
Night night,
Love from Patty xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx
From Scott.
Morning baby . How was your night? I had a very long day yesterday Just got up now .
I just did name it a vodka party it means a party where we drink only vodka lol and I mean that if you want to send money you cnt post it there is another process for that through western union but the letter or card is through post office and it takes a lot of time to get here...
Hope u had a great night ? What r your plans for today
From Scott
Morning Patty, it's been a long time smone posted smthing to me specifically out here they have a rigorous way of post office they r not well organise due to the state of the country It takes days to clear smtimes it doesn't even get cleared, if not I would have love a card from u gosh would have been really romantic . The only thing I can get here easily is money though have been planning a little vodka party here in my mind am not sure yet .
How was your night patty n hope u r having a good day ....
...thinking abt you
From Patty
Hey Scotty!
How's your day been? Good I hope. I've been really busy and have only just got in from work. It's been a very long day.
What is a vodka party? I've never tried vodka. Maybe I'll buy some tomorrow and give it a try.
How come you can't get post sent but you can get money? How do the post office know that a letter contains money and not just a letter or card? I don't understand. I'd still love to send you a card.
Anyway, it's very late so I should sleep. I'll be dreaming of you my love.
Night night,
Love from Patty xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx
From Scott.
Morning baby . How was your night? I had a very long day yesterday Just got up now .
I just did name it a vodka party it means a party where we drink only vodka lol and I mean that if you want to send money you cnt post it there is another process for that through western union but the letter or card is through post office and it takes a lot of time to get here...
Hope u had a great night ? What r your plans for today
His birthday isn't far anymore.
So Scott is in the army and can take leave whenever he wants. That's convenient.It's also his birthday soon. Again, how convenient!
From Scott
You are a beautiful lady . I am the one thankful for my luck to have such a lady like u with me .
I do have much time off when am on leave . I can Tk leave whenever I want at the base.recently just on weekends I relax n drink .. How is your evening ?
Another from Scott.
When is your birthday . Mine is on October 12 . Not far anymore
From Patty.
Good morning Scott
It's not long until your birthday is it? I shall send you a card if you let me know where I can post it to. It might be nice for you to get some post on your special day.
Do you have any plans for today? I have a number of patients to see so will be busy most of the day but will email you later this evening when I am finished.
My birthday is 14th February, Valentines day. I haven't had a Valentines card in a long while. Maybe next year you will send me one! I hope I'm not being too forward Scott when I say this but I think I am developing feelings for you. I know we haven't been talking for very long but I feel a very strong connection between us. Do you feel it too?
Anyway my dear, I must get ready for my next patient. Mr Shepherd has a very bad case of hypothetical mardys and needs my attention. You have a good day Scott and look forward to hearing from you soon.
All my love
Patty xxxxxxxx
From Scott
You are a beautiful lady . I am the one thankful for my luck to have such a lady like u with me .
I do have much time off when am on leave . I can Tk leave whenever I want at the base.recently just on weekends I relax n drink .. How is your evening ?
Another from Scott.
When is your birthday . Mine is on October 12 . Not far anymore
From Patty.
Good morning Scott
It's not long until your birthday is it? I shall send you a card if you let me know where I can post it to. It might be nice for you to get some post on your special day.
Do you have any plans for today? I have a number of patients to see so will be busy most of the day but will email you later this evening when I am finished.
My birthday is 14th February, Valentines day. I haven't had a Valentines card in a long while. Maybe next year you will send me one! I hope I'm not being too forward Scott when I say this but I think I am developing feelings for you. I know we haven't been talking for very long but I feel a very strong connection between us. Do you feel it too?
Anyway my dear, I must get ready for my next patient. Mr Shepherd has a very bad case of hypothetical mardys and needs my attention. You have a good day Scott and look forward to hearing from you soon.
All my love
Patty xxxxxxxx
Tuesday, 22 September 2015
Time for some photos of Patty.
Scott has never seen any photos of Patty so I thought it was time to send some. Patty bears a remarkable resemblance to Ann Widdecombe don't you think? I do hope he still likes her. And doesn't her brother look a lot like Len Goodman?
From Patty.
Good afternoon Scott.
I have 20 minutes in between clients so I thought I'd say a quick hello. I realise that I never sent you any pictures of myself. Obviously you saw me on Mingle but it's nice to have some pictures to keep. Please find attached some of me and one of me and my late brother Ben.
Ben was my only sibling and he passed away 3 years ago. We were out for a day trip on his boat (the one in the picture) when he slipped on some olive oil that I had 'accidentally' spilled on deck and he plunged head first into the sea. Had he not had his jacket pockets full of heavy rocks that I'd put there for safe keeping I am sure he wouldn't have sunk so easily. I did my best to try and pull him out with the aid of a large, heavy, wooden pole but because of the choppy waves, unfortunately it kept hitting him around the head and he just couldn't seem to grab hold of it. I tried my absolute best to save him, honest I did but sadly he drowned. I can never forgive myself for what happened as I feel to blame even thought I know that I didn't kill him. Honestly I didn't. It was just a tragic accident. Even the coroner said so. He left me everything in his will which did soften the blow somewhat and I often think of him when I am spending his money on myself.
Righty ho Scott, I must get ready for my next patient. I shall try and email you later. Hope you like the pictures!
All my love
Patty xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
From Scott.
He doesn't mention the photos or even pick up on the fact that Patty actually killed her brother.
Am so sorry about your late brother and how your help wasn't enough to save him it's Tragic maybe his soul rest in peace . Am sure u did miss him . How is going for you today ?
Then a minute later came this email from Scott.
How is work going for you today?
Then this one. He thinks Patty is beautiful.
OMG you are so beautiful. U have a cute smile . I love all the pictures your brother is cute as well . How many years since your brother died now? And the one u had a red cloth on where were u then?
Patty replies. I wonder if he'll pick up on the disappearance of my rival at the awards ceremony?
Hey Scott.
I'm glad you liked my pictures. I'm quite insecure about my looks but I like to think it's what's on the inside that counts. The one where I am in red was at an awards ceremony for alternative therapists. I had been nominated for an award but sadly I didn't win. Never mind. It was good night.
My brother died 3 years ago. I miss him every day and still feel so guilty even though everyone said it's not my fault. It wasn't my fault either that the woman who won the award I was nominated for disappeared a few weeks later. It had nothing to do with me at all. Honest.
So Scott, how come a handsome man like you is still single? I hope you don't mind me saying but you are incredibly handsome. I never thought a man like you would be interested in someone like me. I can't believe my luck! Do you get much time off your army duties?
I hope you're having a good evening and hope to hear from you soon.
All my love
Patty xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx
From Patty.
Good afternoon Scott.
I have 20 minutes in between clients so I thought I'd say a quick hello. I realise that I never sent you any pictures of myself. Obviously you saw me on Mingle but it's nice to have some pictures to keep. Please find attached some of me and one of me and my late brother Ben.
Ben was my only sibling and he passed away 3 years ago. We were out for a day trip on his boat (the one in the picture) when he slipped on some olive oil that I had 'accidentally' spilled on deck and he plunged head first into the sea. Had he not had his jacket pockets full of heavy rocks that I'd put there for safe keeping I am sure he wouldn't have sunk so easily. I did my best to try and pull him out with the aid of a large, heavy, wooden pole but because of the choppy waves, unfortunately it kept hitting him around the head and he just couldn't seem to grab hold of it. I tried my absolute best to save him, honest I did but sadly he drowned. I can never forgive myself for what happened as I feel to blame even thought I know that I didn't kill him. Honestly I didn't. It was just a tragic accident. Even the coroner said so. He left me everything in his will which did soften the blow somewhat and I often think of him when I am spending his money on myself.
Righty ho Scott, I must get ready for my next patient. I shall try and email you later. Hope you like the pictures!
All my love
Patty xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
From Scott.
He doesn't mention the photos or even pick up on the fact that Patty actually killed her brother.
Am so sorry about your late brother and how your help wasn't enough to save him it's Tragic maybe his soul rest in peace . Am sure u did miss him . How is going for you today ?
Then a minute later came this email from Scott.
How is work going for you today?
Then this one. He thinks Patty is beautiful.
OMG you are so beautiful. U have a cute smile . I love all the pictures your brother is cute as well . How many years since your brother died now? And the one u had a red cloth on where were u then?
Patty replies. I wonder if he'll pick up on the disappearance of my rival at the awards ceremony?
Hey Scott.
I'm glad you liked my pictures. I'm quite insecure about my looks but I like to think it's what's on the inside that counts. The one where I am in red was at an awards ceremony for alternative therapists. I had been nominated for an award but sadly I didn't win. Never mind. It was good night.
My brother died 3 years ago. I miss him every day and still feel so guilty even though everyone said it's not my fault. It wasn't my fault either that the woman who won the award I was nominated for disappeared a few weeks later. It had nothing to do with me at all. Honest.
So Scott, how come a handsome man like you is still single? I hope you don't mind me saying but you are incredibly handsome. I never thought a man like you would be interested in someone like me. I can't believe my luck! Do you get much time off your army duties?
I hope you're having a good evening and hope to hear from you soon.
All my love
Patty xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx
Monday, 21 September 2015
Alas poor Horatio.
Poor Horatio, my poorly stick insect met a sticky end. Scott isn't overly sympathetic.
From Patty
Hello Scott.
I hope you've had a nice Sunday. Mine has been rather upsetting. Remember I said that Horatio my stick insect was looking a bit off colour? Well today he died. Well he didn't exactly die, more kind of got eaten. He was ill and had turned quite a dark brown colour. I had taken him out of his tank and put him on the side in my kitchen so I could get him ready to go to the vets when there was a knock on my front door. It was next doors children. Their mother had asked them to come and see if I had any cinnamon sticks she could borrow as she was making a spiced fruit cake for their tea. Forgetting all about Horatio, I sent the eldest into the kitchen to get some whilst I chatted to her younger sister. She quickly came running back out saying she'd got some and the two ran back home together. As I shut the door, my phone rang, it was one of my patients so I had to answer it.
When I finished, I went back in the kitchen but Horatio was nowhere to be seen. I couldn't find him anywhere. I searched high and low to no avail. I even looked in my cupboards in case he'd slipped into one of them. I then noticed my new jar of cinnamon sticks was unopened in the cupboard. The girls from next door left with a cinnamon stick yet the jar was unopened. This could only mean one thing. Horatio!! I rushed round next door and asked the girls where they had got the cinnamon from and the eldest replied "Off the kitchen side. There was one there." In an instant I knew she meant Horatio. I looked into the kitchen and could see their mother putting a cake in the oven. She thanked me for the cinnamon but remarked that it had been quite tough to blend and had oozed a rather strange 'goo'. She offered to bring me a piece of cake round once it was baked but I declined her kind offer. Poor, poor Horatio. I didn't have the heart to tell them as the cake smelled so good.
So Scott, it's been a pretty traumatic day for me today. In answer to your question, no I never did adopt and children. That's probably why I have so many animals. I do get lonely sometimes but hopefully that will change soon now we have met each other.
Goodnight sweet Scott,
Love from Patty xxxxxxxx
From Scott.
Sorry abt Horatio . That's quite a story and I really look forward to meet u too as well!! Since u r working tomorrow u need to rest . We will talk tomorrow . miss u! Sweet dreams to u!
From Patty
Hello Scott.
I hope you've had a nice Sunday. Mine has been rather upsetting. Remember I said that Horatio my stick insect was looking a bit off colour? Well today he died. Well he didn't exactly die, more kind of got eaten. He was ill and had turned quite a dark brown colour. I had taken him out of his tank and put him on the side in my kitchen so I could get him ready to go to the vets when there was a knock on my front door. It was next doors children. Their mother had asked them to come and see if I had any cinnamon sticks she could borrow as she was making a spiced fruit cake for their tea. Forgetting all about Horatio, I sent the eldest into the kitchen to get some whilst I chatted to her younger sister. She quickly came running back out saying she'd got some and the two ran back home together. As I shut the door, my phone rang, it was one of my patients so I had to answer it.
When I finished, I went back in the kitchen but Horatio was nowhere to be seen. I couldn't find him anywhere. I searched high and low to no avail. I even looked in my cupboards in case he'd slipped into one of them. I then noticed my new jar of cinnamon sticks was unopened in the cupboard. The girls from next door left with a cinnamon stick yet the jar was unopened. This could only mean one thing. Horatio!! I rushed round next door and asked the girls where they had got the cinnamon from and the eldest replied "Off the kitchen side. There was one there." In an instant I knew she meant Horatio. I looked into the kitchen and could see their mother putting a cake in the oven. She thanked me for the cinnamon but remarked that it had been quite tough to blend and had oozed a rather strange 'goo'. She offered to bring me a piece of cake round once it was baked but I declined her kind offer. Poor, poor Horatio. I didn't have the heart to tell them as the cake smelled so good.
So Scott, it's been a pretty traumatic day for me today. In answer to your question, no I never did adopt and children. That's probably why I have so many animals. I do get lonely sometimes but hopefully that will change soon now we have met each other.
Goodnight sweet Scott,
Love from Patty xxxxxxxx
From Scott.
Sorry abt Horatio . That's quite a story and I really look forward to meet u too as well!! Since u r working tomorrow u need to rest . We will talk tomorrow . miss u! Sweet dreams to u!
Sunday, 20 September 2015
The Hokey Cokey.
Patty spells his name wrong yet again but he never notices. He does however now understand all about Chakras! I do find him quite boring though. Hope he livens up soon.
From Patty.
Good afternoon Scutt.
I hope you're having a hood day today. I've been really busy walking the dogs and cleaning out the other animals. Poor Horatio the stick insect is off his food and I am a little worried about him. I think I may need to take him to the vets tomorrow.
You asked what Chakras are. Chakras are a collection of tiny bones located just below the inner sphincter in the coxixial area of the back. When they become misaligned they cause great discomfort and dizziness. They can be realigned by a series of manipulative movements known as the Hokey Cokey. This involves me putting their left leg in and then the left leg out. This has to be done several times in succession, in, out, in out and then getting the patient to shake it all about. This complex series of movements helps the Chakras to settle back into their correct positions. Sometimes it can take several sessions before they see any improvement but once they can get into a position with their knees bent and their arms stretched without losing their balance or going dizzy then it's ra ra ra they're cured!! I'm sorry if that all sounds rather technical and medical. I love my job and being able to help people back to full health is wonderful.
So Scott, do you get much time off over there? What do you do in your spare time?
Today I have been writing more poetry. I wrote this for you my dear.
Scott, that name makes me tingle
I wish I wasn't single
I wish we were a couple
I can't lie, I am quite supple
I can bend my legs akimbo
But don't think I am a bimbo
I'm just a lonely woman
Looking for my true man.
I hope that's not too forward of me Scott but I can't seem to stop thinking about you. I want to get to know you much better and I look forward to your every email. Please reply soon.
All my love
Patty xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
From Scott.
Thanks for explaining the meaning of Chakras I think I have an idea of what it is now . am having a good day over here it's weekend . Not much I do on my spare time here . Go to a bar . TV and smtimes the beach or smtimes get to talk to my daughter on phone . Your poems r really fascinating n i like the way u really express yourself in it,i hope we can be more than just friends smday.... guess the animals takes a lot of your time apart from work . It's really nice hearing from u . Do u have kids?
I'd already explained that I couldn't have children. He obviously remembered and quickly sent this:
I meant do you have an adopted kid that lives with u?
From Patty.
Good afternoon Scutt.
I hope you're having a hood day today. I've been really busy walking the dogs and cleaning out the other animals. Poor Horatio the stick insect is off his food and I am a little worried about him. I think I may need to take him to the vets tomorrow.
You asked what Chakras are. Chakras are a collection of tiny bones located just below the inner sphincter in the coxixial area of the back. When they become misaligned they cause great discomfort and dizziness. They can be realigned by a series of manipulative movements known as the Hokey Cokey. This involves me putting their left leg in and then the left leg out. This has to be done several times in succession, in, out, in out and then getting the patient to shake it all about. This complex series of movements helps the Chakras to settle back into their correct positions. Sometimes it can take several sessions before they see any improvement but once they can get into a position with their knees bent and their arms stretched without losing their balance or going dizzy then it's ra ra ra they're cured!! I'm sorry if that all sounds rather technical and medical. I love my job and being able to help people back to full health is wonderful.
So Scott, do you get much time off over there? What do you do in your spare time?
Today I have been writing more poetry. I wrote this for you my dear.
Scott, that name makes me tingle
I wish I wasn't single
I wish we were a couple
I can't lie, I am quite supple
I can bend my legs akimbo
But don't think I am a bimbo
I'm just a lonely woman
Looking for my true man.
I hope that's not too forward of me Scott but I can't seem to stop thinking about you. I want to get to know you much better and I look forward to your every email. Please reply soon.
All my love
Patty xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
From Scott.
Thanks for explaining the meaning of Chakras I think I have an idea of what it is now . am having a good day over here it's weekend . Not much I do on my spare time here . Go to a bar . TV and smtimes the beach or smtimes get to talk to my daughter on phone . Your poems r really fascinating n i like the way u really express yourself in it,i hope we can be more than just friends smday.... guess the animals takes a lot of your time apart from work . It's really nice hearing from u . Do u have kids?
I'd already explained that I couldn't have children. He obviously remembered and quickly sent this:
I meant do you have an adopted kid that lives with u?
Chakras.
Scott is a man of few words and some missing vowels too. His English is much better than the majority of scammers but he could do with making a bit more effort. I might have to pull him up on that at some point. At least he seems interested in my work .
From Patty.
Hey Scott!
How's your day going? I've been really busy working today. As I said, I'm a natural therapist. My client today had been in am accident involving a ladder, a runaway sheep and some pineapples. It sounds quite bizarre but it did actually happen! As a result of this awful trauma, her chakras had been completely misaligned so we've been working hard on realigning them. She's gradually getting better which is great.
I'm sorry to hear your ex wasn't very nice. You obviously deserve much better. You seem a really nice guy.
So, how long have you been in Nigeria? What is your role out there? I have so much admiration for the military.
Right, it's feeding time at the zoo so better get feeding my hungry animals.
Hope to hear from you again really soon.
Lots of love
Patty xx xx xx xx xx xx xx
From Scott.
What is Chakras? My day is going good as well . Am a staff sergeant in the US military and I deal most with paperworks at the artillery and smtimes go out on patrol . What else are your plans for the weekend after work
From Patty.
Hey Scott!
How's your day going? I've been really busy working today. As I said, I'm a natural therapist. My client today had been in am accident involving a ladder, a runaway sheep and some pineapples. It sounds quite bizarre but it did actually happen! As a result of this awful trauma, her chakras had been completely misaligned so we've been working hard on realigning them. She's gradually getting better which is great.
I'm sorry to hear your ex wasn't very nice. You obviously deserve much better. You seem a really nice guy.
So, how long have you been in Nigeria? What is your role out there? I have so much admiration for the military.
Right, it's feeding time at the zoo so better get feeding my hungry animals.
Hope to hear from you again really soon.
Lots of love
Patty xx xx xx xx xx xx xx
From Scott.
What is Chakras? My day is going good as well . Am a staff sergeant in the US military and I deal most with paperworks at the artillery and smtimes go out on patrol . What else are your plans for the weekend after work
Scatt has had his mind blown.
Patty emails Scott but refers to him as Scatt. I wonder if he'll notice? I also put his mind at ease about my finances. I send him a really rubbish poem. I hope he likes it.
Hey Scatt!
Thanks for your message. I hope you're having a good day.
What I meant was that I have a lot of animals that take a lot of looking after but I have more than enough money to do so. Does your daughter like animals? What is her name?
Could I ask you what happened to your wife? I was married once. It didn't end well. I'll tell you about it some time.
So Scatt, please tell me move about yourself. What do you like to do in your spare time? How long have you been stationed in Nigeria for?
I told you how I like to write poetry. Here is a short poem I wrote for you.
Scott, Scott, I think you're hot.
If anyone ever says your not
I'll kick them firmly in the bott
And hope they go to hell and rot.
I hope you like it.
Look forward to hearing from soon
Lots of love
Patty xx xx xx xx
Scott has had his mind blown!
Wow that was a mind blowing poem . Thank you! Well my ex was an abusive wife . She was dishonest in the relationship , had to divorce her. My daughter does like animals but doesn't have a pet . Her name is Mary she lives with my ex in NY . Well I really like u, I dnt know where this is takin us but I really want us to be just more than friends if u dnt mind
Patty replies, mispelling his name yet again.
Hi Scutt.
This is just a quick email to say it's been lovely chatting to you today. I must sleep now as I have work tomorrow so need to be up early. I'm glad you liked my quick poem. I might write another one tomorrow.
I'm really looking forward to getting to know you more. I have a good feeling about this.
Goodnight my dear.
Love from
Patty xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx
And a short but sweet one in return.
Sweet dreams patty . We will talk tomorrow . It's 10:15PM here as well
Hey Scatt!
Thanks for your message. I hope you're having a good day.
What I meant was that I have a lot of animals that take a lot of looking after but I have more than enough money to do so. Does your daughter like animals? What is her name?
Could I ask you what happened to your wife? I was married once. It didn't end well. I'll tell you about it some time.
So Scatt, please tell me move about yourself. What do you like to do in your spare time? How long have you been stationed in Nigeria for?
I told you how I like to write poetry. Here is a short poem I wrote for you.
Scott, Scott, I think you're hot.
If anyone ever says your not
I'll kick them firmly in the bott
And hope they go to hell and rot.
I hope you like it.
Look forward to hearing from soon
Lots of love
Patty xx xx xx xx
Scott has had his mind blown!
Wow that was a mind blowing poem . Thank you! Well my ex was an abusive wife . She was dishonest in the relationship , had to divorce her. My daughter does like animals but doesn't have a pet . Her name is Mary she lives with my ex in NY . Well I really like u, I dnt know where this is takin us but I really want us to be just more than friends if u dnt mind
Patty replies, mispelling his name yet again.
Hi Scutt.
This is just a quick email to say it's been lovely chatting to you today. I must sleep now as I have work tomorrow so need to be up early. I'm glad you liked my quick poem. I might write another one tomorrow.
I'm really looking forward to getting to know you more. I have a good feeling about this.
Goodnight my dear.
Love from
Patty xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx
And a short but sweet one in return.
Sweet dreams patty . We will talk tomorrow . It's 10:15PM here as well
Sm pictures.
Another message from Scott. He's very keen and answers really quickly. He sent me some photos too.
Am Scott a sergeant in the US military currently in deployment to Nigeria . I am divorced 6 years now and I have daughter 7 years old . I go to the bar . Watch TV and smtimes go to the beach out here. . Back at home I love hunting for groundhogs ... That's my auntie and my daughter . Send me sm pictures
Patty replies and tells him more about herself alluding to the fact that she has money.
Hi again Scott
I'll tell you a bit more about myself.
My name is Patty and I live in England. I'm 46 and sadly have no children. I was never blessed in that department as my womb was only the size of a strawberry thus making me unable to carry a child. I have always longed for a child of my own but it was not to be. Your daughter is beautiful. Treasure her.
I live alone. Well I say alone, I have 5 cats, 2 dogs, 3 ferrets, 2 hamsters, a parrot, 7 goldfish and a stick insect called Horatio. They keep me busy and stop me getting to lonely. They cost quite a lot to look after but that's not a problem for me.
I work as an alternative therapist which I enjoy a lot. In my spare time, I write poetry and like to go swimming. I also like to dabble a bit in alternative investments.
So Scott, how long have you been stationed out there? I have so much respect for you and what you do. You're so brave and incredibly handsome if you don't mind me saying. I shall send you some photos later when I find out my hard drive.
Right now I have to feed and sort my animals so I shall look forward to another message from you later.
Love from
Patty xx xx xx
Scott replies immediately. Seems he understood about the money reference. He also says I am beautiful which is funny as I haven't sent him any photos.
Thanks for the compliment . You are beautiful as well .... What do you mean by the cost not the problem for you
Am Scott a sergeant in the US military currently in deployment to Nigeria . I am divorced 6 years now and I have daughter 7 years old . I go to the bar . Watch TV and smtimes go to the beach out here. . Back at home I love hunting for groundhogs ... That's my auntie and my daughter . Send me sm pictures
Patty replies and tells him more about herself alluding to the fact that she has money.
Hi again Scott
I'll tell you a bit more about myself.
My name is Patty and I live in England. I'm 46 and sadly have no children. I was never blessed in that department as my womb was only the size of a strawberry thus making me unable to carry a child. I have always longed for a child of my own but it was not to be. Your daughter is beautiful. Treasure her.
I live alone. Well I say alone, I have 5 cats, 2 dogs, 3 ferrets, 2 hamsters, a parrot, 7 goldfish and a stick insect called Horatio. They keep me busy and stop me getting to lonely. They cost quite a lot to look after but that's not a problem for me.
I work as an alternative therapist which I enjoy a lot. In my spare time, I write poetry and like to go swimming. I also like to dabble a bit in alternative investments.
So Scott, how long have you been stationed out there? I have so much respect for you and what you do. You're so brave and incredibly handsome if you don't mind me saying. I shall send you some photos later when I find out my hard drive.
Right now I have to feed and sort my animals so I shall look forward to another message from you later.
Love from
Patty xx xx xx
Scott replies immediately. Seems he understood about the money reference. He also says I am beautiful which is funny as I haven't sent him any photos.
Thanks for the compliment . You are beautiful as well .... What do you mean by the cost not the problem for you
Introducing Patty O'Doors!
I haven't had a scammer for ages. The last one seemed to cotton on fairly quickly and stopped emailing me. I found this one on a forum where people post emails they receive and thought I'd give him a go. He replied almost instantly. So here is a little tale of Scott Derr and Patty O'Doors!!
The first message from Patty to Scott. We'd never chatted before anywhere.
Hey there!!
Do you remember me? We chatted on Mingle2 last week. I'm sorry I didn't email you sooner but I had to go away on business but am back now.
Just in case you've forgotten me already, I am Patty from the UK.
I'd love to get to know you a bit better so I am really hoping that you'll email me back.
I have a day off work today so I am going to write some poetry for my latest book and maybe go swimming.
I'm really looking forward to hearing back from you and hope you're having a good day.
Love and best wishes
Patty xx xx
The first message from Scott to Patty
I do remember you . How are you doing? . Do u have yahoo messenger
Patty Replies: Hi Scott
Thanks for the message. I don't have messenger I am afraid. Last time I installed it, it messed my computer up so won't have it any more.
We can always chat a bit by email if that's ok.
What do you want to know about me? Just ask and I will tell!!
I really hope we can get to know each other better.
Love from
Patty xxxx
Scott replies. He's a man of few words.
Ok we can talk on here . Tell me more abt you . Kids? Marital status ? Fun?
The first message from Patty to Scott. We'd never chatted before anywhere.
Hey there!!
Do you remember me? We chatted on Mingle2 last week. I'm sorry I didn't email you sooner but I had to go away on business but am back now.
Just in case you've forgotten me already, I am Patty from the UK.
I'd love to get to know you a bit better so I am really hoping that you'll email me back.
I have a day off work today so I am going to write some poetry for my latest book and maybe go swimming.
I'm really looking forward to hearing back from you and hope you're having a good day.
Love and best wishes
Patty xx xx
The first message from Scott to Patty
I do remember you . How are you doing? . Do u have yahoo messenger
Patty Replies: Hi Scott
Thanks for the message. I don't have messenger I am afraid. Last time I installed it, it messed my computer up so won't have it any more.
We can always chat a bit by email if that's ok.
What do you want to know about me? Just ask and I will tell!!
I really hope we can get to know each other better.
Love from
Patty xxxx
Scott replies. He's a man of few words.
Ok we can talk on here . Tell me more abt you . Kids? Marital status ? Fun?
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